What’s holding you back?
I think you’ll agree with me when I tell you…
Deciding to wear hair is NOT an easy decision.
(Those of you that already do wear hair…don’t you remember how scary it was to consider?!)
In fact, I bet you’re wrestling with a few things that are keeping you from finally pulling that trigger and having the hair of your dreams.
Today, we’re talking about 7 BIG FEARS women with hair loss face when it comes to wearing wigs or hair toppers…and knocking them down one by one so that you can finally feel confident moving forward.
Have another fear to add…or a fear you’ve overcome? Let us know in the comments once you’re done reading!
#1: You fear people will notice
You hate it, but you’ve actually gotten used to your hair loss and having to look at your see-thru hair on a daily basis.
That’s your new norm.
So, it’s totally scary to now have to even *think* about people noticing a new & improved ‘do. You know, one with much more hair.
“Maybe it’s just better to NOT wear hair…at least I can avoid that change,” you think.
But here’s the thing.
I stand firmly that most people in our lives don’t notice our hair loss…luckily, most people are far too self-absorbed. 🙂
This also mean that it’s likely they won’t notice your new, better hair.
Truly, anything has to look better than this (and this is WITH concealers!):
Note Child #1’s little hand that you can see plain as day THRU my hair!
I starting wearing hair several years ago after my second child was born, and guess what? No one noticed a thing.
If you’re concerned about transitioning, there are a zillion things you can do to help take the attention off of your head.
Wear your new topper or wig, but wear it up (no one even suspects faux hair when worn up!).
Wear a new, bigger piece of jewelry.
Wear a bold lip color.
Try some clothing you normally don’t wear.
(I promise, if I showed up in a dress, the last thing people would be noticing is my hair. I could probably wear a blond, curly wig and no one would bat an eyelash)
Do what you need to do to divert attention to make you feel the most comfortable as possible.
The “first time” is just that – one time. After that, it’s smooth sailing.
#2: You fear it’s admitting you have an issue
Yep, once you move onto wearing hair, you do have to admit to yourself that you are…challenged…in the biological-hair department.
There’s no denying this:
However, just because we have less-than-ideal hair does NOT make us weak.
Deciding to wear hair just might be one of the bravest things you’ll decide to do.
Imagine the strength you’ll feel once you decide, once-and-for-all, to take control of this awful situation and do something about it.
99% of us won’t be able to stop the hair loss. But those same 99% of women can make the decision to acknowledge that fact AND do what they can to make themselves feel and look better.
And that just may be wearing hair.
#3: You fear it’s a big commitment
And it kind of isn’t. It depends how you look at it.
Many women feel that if they so much as try a piece on, they are chained to wearing hair forever.
Or, if they browse online, this is their new “forever” world.
That’s not the case.
You can definitely give hair a try…maybe even wear it to the grocery store one town over…and never wear it again.
You can browse online and scour YouTube videos for hours on end…but that doesn’t mean you’re committing to hair for eternity.
Those that make the leap usually do decide that they are going to wear hair for life.
But, it’s not because they HAVE to.
It’s because having a full head of hair is kind of your God-given right, and damn, does it feel good to have hair again.
I’ll admit, once you start wearing hair full-time and have glorious hair it’s hard to go back to this (keep in mind that is allll 36 strands of my hair on the one side):
So, while many women do wear hair full-time and will never be without, there are others who only wear it, for example, for date night.
You get to choose.
#4: You fear there are things you can’t do
You might be thinking that wearing hair means you’ll have to give up all the things you love to do.
But, think again.
Love roller coasters? Riding in a Jeep with the top off? Going to the gym and doing aerial yoga?
These are all things I’ve done many times with hair.
Ok, not the aerial yoga part, but working out, for sure! I did have a reader ask me about this once, so I threw it in, for kicks. 🙂
Upside-down, corkscrewy, suspend-me-in-the-air roller coasters are no problem with the help of a headband to secure your wig or topper (or glue or tape! I glue my topper in the front to secure it and lay it flat).
Here’s (an absolutely fabulous) pic after a toboggan-type roller coaster taken just the other day. I had my kiddos with me, so this one was more tame…but I’ll ride the big guys with my topper any day.
Love to ride your bike, or are you obsessed with driving with the top down (as my husband is?). Even a Jeep is no match for my topper:
There are some manufacturers who make wigs specifically for working out – they suction to your head so those suckers are NOT budging.
Or, you can do as many women do and just wear a headband-type thing (Wigrip) under their wigs to secure them, and wear your hair up.
You can even buy a topper specifically made for working out, athletic headband and all (I have this one as part of the Topper Try-On program for Corner of Hope & Mane Community members.
Not all ponytails have to be low when you wear hair – I know several of you are accustomed to high ponytails and messy buns!
The one thing that IS tricky is swimming while wearing a wig or a topper. I wrote a post about swimming with a wig or topper a bit ago that you can check out.
But, even though true swimming is a bit hard to navigate (splashing around is no probem-o), figuring out a workaround for that sure beats runny concealers and a sunburned scalp.
One final note on things you CAN do, because I know you are wondering.
Yes…you CAN have sex wearing wigs and toppers. Promise.
#5: You Fear it’s Expensive
It does feel like it, doesn’t it?
You have the actual hair to buy, plus the necessary products, plus some tools, plus you STILL need concealers to help with customization, plus, plus plus.
Let’s take hair toppers.
A synthetic hair topper will set you back anywhere from about $100-$250. Maybe even less since all the major online retailers regularly offer between 20-30% off.
You can expect a synthetic topper to last approximately six months..at that point, you can turn it into an “updo piece” and it will last almost forever.
A good, human hair topper will cost $500-$1,000+ (plus requires upkeep and several specialty products) but should last a year or more. Again, this can also become an updo piece.
I’m glossing over this, but wanted to give you an idea.
I mainly wear synthetic toppers, and because my older pieces are made into updo pieces, which in turn stretches the life of my newer pieces as I rotate those updo pieces in with my “wear down” pieces, I can really get by purchasing one single topper each year.
This “updo piece” is just a clone of my “down”, nicer piece. But this piece was over two years old, when I took this pic.
My point is that hair lasts longer than you think.
If I spend $300 on my helper hair each year, that’s no more than what I was spending on salon visits, potions to regrow my hair (that never worked), and concealers, etc.
I still use concealers to help blend my hairline, but now they last 10 years instead of three months.
But what you can’t put a price on is time.
It used to take me at least 30 minutes to get my hair “just right” in the mornings.
Now, it takes me less than three minutes.
I save almost 165 hours getting ready each year.
That’s nearly a full seven days.
How much is each of your hours “worth”?
It may not be completely apples to apples…but if I multiply 165 hours by my hourly rate at work – holy moly, that’s some REAL money and well more than several human hair pieces (obviously, YMMV).
When you’re deciding if you want to wear hair as a solution to your hair loss, make sure you take into account the financial costs as well as the time savings.
#6: You fear not knowing where to start
It is, but that’s why you have me and all the other YouTubers and Instagrammers out there in this world.
Take your time researching and getting to know all there is about wearing hair.
Learn from our mistakes.
No one wants to look like this, due to trying something–anything--blind!:
If you’d like a “totally not overwhelming and maybe even fun” resource that goes over step-by-step how to pick out a hair topper, feel free to sign up for my 5-day email course.
I’ll walk you through all the major considerations so that you’ll feel MUCH more confident buying.
This will open in a new tab so that you can easily come back to this post.
Take your time learning and ask a zillion questions of myself, and anyone else that wears hair!
#7: You fear it has to be perfect
This holds a lot of type-A personalities back.
You might think there’s no WAY a wig or topper will look anything like your own hair so you don’t even bother to explore further.
Or, you’ve heard that it’s impossible to integrate your own hair in, or all helper hair is too shiny.
The hard truth when it comes to wearing hair is that no wig or hair piece is perfect.
I think there’s something “not perfect” with every piece I’ve tried, or own.
ESPECIALLY right out of the box.
I absolutely adore this wig below.
But, if I want to be picky, there are some things that bug me about it.
I have to remind myself that nothing is perfect, including any hair I’ve paid for.
But what’s also not perfect is a head of see-thru bio hair.
Or a ponytail the diameter of a pencil.
Or hair that’s lost so much strength and luster, it looks grayish and lifeless.
We need to stop letting the fear of having something slightly imperfect hold us back.
Because for every topper or wig that’s slightly too shiny or too poofy (both easily fixed!), there’s a family photo waiting to be taken.
For every hairline that is examined from 1/4″ away (even though no one else gets that close, and if they do we have bigger issues) there’s a girls’ night that needs to finally be scheduled.
For each of the 40+ silk top shades that are obsessed about every. single. night. because we can’t pull the trigger until we have the most absolute, *perfect* match, there is a partner or friend hoping to meet you for dinner instead.
Stop worrying about perfection and start living your life again.
All the things we’ve stopped doing (for me, it was pics with my kids) because of our hair loss are just waiting for us to come around and finally make a decision.
Ya know, sometimes as hard as it is, we need to sh*t or get off the pot.
It’s scary, I know.
But, so what? Do it scared.
Life keeps rolling with or without us…for awhile my life was at a bit of a standstill due to my hair loss.
Deciding to wear hair took guts, but I’m so glad that I did it.
Check out this post and read alllll the comments from women who don’t wear hair, and what they feel they are missing because of their hair loss.
You’ll also read stories from women who do wear hair discussing the things they can NOW do, since they have their confidence back.
No matter if you wear hair or not, I invite you to chime in on that powerful conversation.
The ONE THING I can say with certainty is this: no one who’s decided to wear hair has ever thought they should’ve waited longer to do so.
They always wish they’d started sooner.
Let’s make this the year you no longer wonder “what if”, shall we?
If you’re considering hair but are nervous, how can I help you decide if wearing hair is right for you? What fears do you have?
Hair veterans, chime in with your thoughts, too!
Leave a comment below and let me know what you’re thinking.